Certain Uncertainty

I’m going to ramble for a bit about how in my mind life is all about change.

The way I see it is that from the moment you’re born you’re constantly developing, becoming stronger, smarter, quicker. Growing up is a set of challenges that get tackled, overcome and eventually mastered. As a child one learns to walk, to run, to swim, to cycle. At school you’re introduced to maths, science, languages. As a teenager you take on culture, social norms and ever growing levels of abstract thought and expression.

Then you go to university and your brain gets assaulted all over again. Politics, leadership, controversy, sexuality, spirituality, philosophy, and all sorts of other crazy theories. Enough to give you headaches for 2 lifetimes if you let it.

All throughout you’re struggling to keep up, just getting the grasp of some things, perhaps balancing others and just plain chucking the useless things out of the window. Others you master to a high degree and it feels pretty go to get there.

What I’m facing now is the reality that no matter how high I climb to, no matter how many things I ever master and no matter how often I feel that everything that can be done has been done, another change comes along to bring about more challenges once again.

I inherently hate change. I feel that prior to things changing it’s nice to have a bit of peace and security in knowing how things are done, that you’ve reached a pinnacle in your life and that for just a moment you’re on top of things.

Those moments don’t last though.

In the past 10 years, I’ve gone from being an undergrad to an intern, to a graduate and an employee of at least 4 companies. In that space of time I’ve changed from single to attached to becoming a fiancé to husband and now a father of 2 young boys.

Each new stage has gone and completely upended whatever stability I might have enjoyed in each prior stage of life. When I thought I had everything under control I got into a relationship with a wonderful girl. When things were getting stable I proposed and then began the amazing (and frustrating) journey of getting married. After we became husband and wife we learnt to live together and before that even became quite so comfortable along came our baby boy who turned our life upside down again. When we finally thought we’d gotten the hang of being the parents of an energetic boy along came another little boy which has brought another set of challenges and delights.

This journey does not look like it’s going to end soon, for alas, we do yearn to have another child one day.

But then the story goes on and on. Promotions will come at work, business opportunities may present themselves, life keeps on keeping on. Before long we’ll be parents of teenagers then young adults then seeing them marry and move out and we’ll be by ourselves again. Grandchildren may or may not come (as God wills) and our time on earth will one day draw to a close.

The cycle is both beautiful and bittersweet all the same as nothing stands still. Moments of delight and despair come and go, memories of the past grow and fade.

The only thing constant is change.

And God’s presence.

Through it all the only thing that gives me any assurance and strength is God’s undeniable presence and His unfailing grace upon my life and my loved ones.

This world is only temporary; a moments whisper, a passing cloud. When I am one day gone, God will still remain for my children and their children and their children’s children. I hope that God will bless all of their lives with just as many adventures, incredible joys and desperate lows as mine will undoubtably be filled with.

Such is the beautiful certain uncertainty of life.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s