Writing is my defence

I’ve never been good at speaking.

Whenever I get into an argument the words just never come out right. I trip over syllables, I mish-mash my words, I even use the wrong words to express how I’m feeling. This means that I hardly win any arguments, as I quickly become a frustrated confused mess.

That’s not to say that I don’t enjoy speaking or talking in general. In fact using my mouth is a fine form of expression for me when I’m just chatting with friends in a relaxed setting. It’s the heated conversations where everything starts to go south, as my mind simply cannot keep up with my mouth and utter nonsense gets spewed from my pie-hole.

Writing on the other hand is a panacea to my innate inability to communicate my thoughts effectively. I’ve never had any trouble with expressing myself in the written word and really, really, prefer it over talking — except when my hands hurt.

Sitting in a quiet setting, pen in hand (or keyboard under fingers) I get to write and re-write words and paragraphs that slowly but surely echo my deepest thoughts. This process is magical as I get to correct anything that I feel doesn’t quite make the mark. So many times I’ve regretted the things that I’ve said wishing I could take them back. With writing I get to be as careful (or careless) as I choose to be and at least there’s a measure of intention in that.

Writing to me is thinking, but it’s also a form of defence.

One of the first things I learnt in the workplace is that words are extremely powerful. They have the ability not only to attack but also to defend from attacks. Email became not just a medium for communicating but also a weapon, which if wielded skillfully, can aid you in every battle. Knowing that gave me greater confidence to do my job without fear that I’d be misunderstood.

So I need not be afraid when I’m confronted by difficulties. Writing down what’s troubling me helps me to think clearly and better analyse the problem in order to come up with the best solution. When angered I’m more likely to shout out something hurtful, but in writing, though angry, I’m more likely to choose the path of tact to get my point across.

I may never come across as the most clever or quick witted person in a lively debate, but that’s OK. When it comes to writing, I’m confident that I’m more than able to take care of myself.